Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications

Vancouver, BC

I need to get the fuck out of the US of A this weekend. In honor of 'merika's birthday, I'm going to Canada. This is one of the best ideas I've had in a really, really long time. So good that celebrating the 4th in Canada may, just may, become an annual event.

What's my point? I don't really have one, but if you know any good places in Vancouver that are not to be missed I need to know about them, like NOW. So go on, tell me where I should go. I'm anxiously awaiting your suggestions.

80s Fray

Yesterday I wore a new skirt. A skirt that I bought a couple weeks ago in downtown when I went shopping because I was too drunk to drive home after visiting Von's with some coworkers, a skirt that I realized was too long for me two days ago when I tried it on at home, a skirt that although I was not then drunk decided instead of returning I would shorten with only a pair of scissor and no needle or thread, a skirt that despite the fact that it ends with fraying and raw edges and nothing else looks pretty kick ass. Man, I love that the 80s are back!

And ever since I attacked my new skirt a couple nights ago, my scissors can't stop yammering on and on about what a great team we'd make. Asking me for old sweatshirts and t-shirts, saying that when she's done taking it out on that sweater or this sweatshirt, Tootie's gonna be so jealous and Rickie Schroder's gonna wanna be my steady. And all I can think is gag me with a spoon.

Like totally.

P.S. I finally caved in and joined the darkside (and by darkside I mean ProClub). That's right. I'm officially a total yuppie sell out. Now the only thing that's missing is a SUV and becoming a Republican. Sure I say NEVER now, but I use to say that about THE CLUB. Dunt-dunt-daaaaaa!

Think Pink!

Growing up my mom was always buying me pink clothes. Being a typical kid I hated almost any article of clothing my mom picked out for me, but especially anything pink. I remember one item of clothing particularly well, a pink corduroy skirt overall outfit. I hated this outfit so much that I made a point of telling my mom she was forbidden from buying me anything else in the realm of pinkness which included red and purple. Anyways, looking back now it’s odd because if I look at the last 10 things I've purchased clothing-wise I'd say the majority are PINK! And to be honest, I have to say right now my favorite color is PINK! I love PINK! If pink was a guy I would totally ask him to marry me. Simply put, I can't get enough PINK!

Clothing items I own that are pink:

• Light pink capri pants (What the hell was I thinking? And yet I can’t stop wearing them. Man, I’m a dork.)


• Light pink and black a-line skirt with flowers (Retroville baby. All the way!)


• Light pink chunky cotton sweater (The comfiest damn sweater EVER.)


• Hot pink cardigan sweater


• Pink corduroy a-line skirt (Interesting side note: I hated corduroy as a kid as well. I’m still a little wary of it.)


• Pink and cream toille a-line skirt


• Various flower pins in various shades of pink

I'm sure there are more but a) I'm getting bored with listing them b) you don't really care anyways and c) I believe I've made my point.

Actually the more that I think about it maybe I love pink so much now because I hated it that much way back when because I also couldn't stand turtleneck sweaters and now every fall I get giddy when it's time to pull out the turtleneck sweaters and start cycling them through my wardrobe in heavy rotation.

P.S. I'm wearing a HOT PINK cardigan right now. Gawd, I'm such a girl.

P.P.S. Yup, I've got a pink turtleneck sweater as well.

P.P.P.S. Nope, I don't have a pink corduroy sweater. Well not yet anyways.

P.P.P.S. Let's call this my Totally Out There Tuesday post even though I completely forgot about wanting to do that until after I posted this. Oops! Next week, next week.

Believe it or not

I've got nothing but love for you people. Enjoy!

That's right. I'm risking fines and imprisionment, sacrificing my freedom and reputation, just to spread the joy. C'mon, admit it. You watched that show too and loved every minute of it just as much as I did.

What? You don't know what I'm talking about??? Greatest American Hero? Here's a quick recap of the coolest/crappiest TV show ever: Ralph Hinkley was minding his own business, when his car mysteriously drove itself out into the desert. A startled Ralph was soon visited by aliens, who had decided to endow him with superhuman powers to fight the battle against injustice and crime. To this end, they gave him a special suit and an instruction manual. Unfortunately, Ralph manages to lose the instruction manual, and the aliens have a nasty habit of never being around when you need them.

You're welcome.

Closed Mondays

Saturday afternoon I treated my parents to a live taping of Prarie Home Companion at Marymoor Park in Redmond. Then just to balance things out I went downtown to see F9/11. I'm suprised to admit that I enjoyed Bowling for Columbine more than Moore's latest offering.

In other news, I have this sudden urge to run out to the store and find me a shirt which reads "Closed Mondays".

By the way, what are you doing here? Don't you realize you could be reading much, much more amusing stuff like this? Well, what are you waiting for? Go.

P.S. This post is going nowhere fast. Goodbye.

Do over! Do over!

Do you ever wish life was a game of four square, in which you can't agree if the ball just landed on the line or out of bounds, so you call a redo?

Yea, me too.

I'll tell you in another life when we both are cats

Songs that make me want to crawl under the covers, curl up in a ball and cry my heart out:

The Cure's "Friday I'm in love", "Just Like Heaven", "Pictures of You" and "Lovesong"

Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" and anything else off the Vanilla Sky soundtrack

The entire album of Sting's Ten Summoner's Tales

Elton John's "I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues"

Coldplay's "Warning Sign"

Diana Krall's "I'm Thru With Love"

Songs that remind me I should stop dwelling on my misery and start moving on already:

Modest Mouse's "Float On"

Franz Ferdinand's "Come On Home"

The Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go"

Coldplay's "Everythings Not Lost"

Oh, who am I kidding? ALL those songs make me want to crawl under the covers and cry. Some days are just like that I suppose.

Note to self: I've got bad news for you. You need to permanently remove all Coldplay tracks from iTunes. Sitting at work and suddently becoming all teary, runny nosed and red faced simply isn't going to work. Ever.

Things that are guaranteed to make me giggle

(and that will most likely leave you scratching your head wondering why):

Asking Jason if he thinks I should dye my hair back to the original color, him responding with, "No, you should dye it bright red", me replying with, "No, you should do that" and then hearing him respond with, "I don't want to be that fat guy".

Asking me how to spell something. I always have to fight the urge to shout out F7, because honestly, that's the only way I can properly spell anything...well, that or with the aid of dictionary.com. And yes, I can bearly do math without a computer. Long division? Don't even go there. That's what machines are for! God Bless 'Merka!

Uttering the phrase, "Boooyaaaaa!". Second only, of course, to someone screaming, "Khaaaaan!".

Saying absolutely anything to me after I've had a sip of wine. No matter what you said, I'll find something intriguing and amusing in it -- humorous and charming. It can't be helped. That wine goes straight to my head EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Referring to me by my work title. I'm no snob but that's the title they gave me. Given the choice, I would have picked "VP of BS" but there were already five other people at my company occupying that position so it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways.

Nose, grindstone. Grindstone, nose.

I've got tons of topics that I could amuse myself ranting about however in doing so I would only be distracting myself from all the tasks that are on deadline today and can no longer be ignored. And as much as I love procrastinating I know today my tasks must actually be completed (and not just started as I'm so fond of doing); the least of which is reporting the fresh dent on my beautiful Passat's bumper caused by someone in an SUV backing into my car WHILE IT WAS PARKED. But I digress...without further ado I believe introductions are in order. Nose, grindstone. Grindstone, nose.

Kindness is golden

I'm not the first to say this and I certainly won't be the last but the older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom of others. If there's one thing I've realized as I've aged, it's that the older I get, the less I know. Don't get me wrong, I don't long for the certainity of youth any more because I realize now the fearless attitude that I could do no wrong and knew better than most was built on a rock solid foundation of my own ignorance. But I do long for the words and wit of others to confirm my feelings and help me express the importance of what really matters in life. Today this quote is speaking to me like no other.

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

I solidly believe that if you focus on the first, you won't have to worry about the second. Be a true friend and you'll always find yourself surrounded with love and hope. And luckily for me sometimes even when you are reckless with someone's heart, love still finds its way back to you. I know that I've got more love and friendship and hope tham I honestly deserve, but I'll take it. Sure, I'm still secretly hoping for Ctrl Z functionality in my life, but until then I guess I'll just have to learn from my mistakes and be thankful for the forgiveness of others. Note to self: Be kind to others and stop fucking up so royally.

And on a lighter note, if you'd rather just read a comical spoof of this and the rest of the "Kurt Vonnegut Commencement Address", go here.