Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications

Gmail

I've got 6 gmail invites burning a hole in my pocket. Anyone interested? I just give...and I give...and I give people. Seriously (except not really).

But seriously, seriously. Don't be this guy.

Update: I thought I didn't need to post the drill, because I figured you guys are all intelligent enough to figure out what the drill is but apparently not (except for AoB but then again he's a lawyer so it figures). Okay people. Take notes. In order for me to send you* an invite, I need your current email address otherwise there's no way for me to send you an invite. Get it?

*Mark

Me? I'm brillant. Thanks for asking.

So today I left work early because I was scheduled to attend an event at The Bell Harbor Conference Center. Only one minor problem. I arrived a little early. Well, actually more than a little early...one month to be exact. Because it's scheduled for September 30th, not August 30th. Man, I'm brillant. We're talking sparkling diamond brillant folks.

Wait, it gets better. So then HFH called me in the afternoon and we decided to go walking around Greenlake, only she's just wrapping up some volunteer work for the Democrats so she says let's meet at 7pm. So I say, okay sounds good, and if I can't make it I'll call you before that. So then she, being a normal person, takes that to mean that unless I call her we're meeting at 7pm, and me, being the freak that I am, takes that to mean that I'll call her either way and we can decide what time to meet even though, clearly, we've already done that. So long story short, I call her at 7:30 and she's not home...because she's been waiting for me at Greenlake for the past 30 minutes.

Fuck me. Today is decidedly not my day. Or HFH's day, for that matter, thanks to me.

P.S. So brillant, that I just realized I've mis-spelled brilliant at least 4 times already. Good work Sprizee, good work.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night

[Queue The Bay City Rollers Saturday Night]

Saturday Night included a visit to Teddy's on 65th and ultimately ended up on Capitol Hill at Nemo's with some Belguim Frittes in hand.


No problem


Sprizee's feet


Special guest appearance by Sally's feet (once she figured out how to take a photo without her chest getting in the way)

P.S. Wheelson is clearly over thinking the shoe thing. Remember GIRLS AREN'T LOGICAL so trying to apply logic to a girl will never work. Never. Ever. Unless, or course, that logic includes a rationalization for buying some shoes. If that's the case, well then, that is another story.

Why girls like shoes so much

A few days ago, Wheelson posted the following comment:

If you can figure out why girls like shoes so much, write it down and publish it...you'll be rich. For me trying to figure it out is like trying to think about four dimensional spacetime curving...actually thinking about curvature of four dimentional spacetime is easier (you saw that one coming right).

Wheelson, I'm glad you asked. Allow me to enlighten you and the rest of the male population because, I think I can speak with some authority when I say I know a thing or two about shoes. After all, I am the inventor of the SprizeeCam™.

The reason that girls love shoes so much is simple. There’s no mystery or hidden meaning. We love shoes because our shoe size (barring freak accidents or pregnancy, neither of which I've had misfortune of experiencing yet) remains constant. In other words, no matter how many Krispy Kreme donuts, Hershey chocolate bars or deep fried snacks one inhales, those shoes you bought on a whim will still, almost certainly, fit.

So shop away and eat all you want, your shoes will never mock you unlike that skirt you bought two weeks ago after convincing yourself it would fit great once you lost those 5 lbs. you’ve been meaning to shake off at the gym for the last two years. And unlike that stupid skirt that won’t zip up, your shoes will never remind you that you shouldn’t have indulged in that extra desert. No sir.

Sure they may make your feet uncomfortable or give you horrible blisters, but at least, they will also make you seem not quite so vertically challenged adding three whole inches to your height and/or tying your entire outfit together by matching your purse and your belt*...and that is what they call an elegant solution. Whatever that means.

P.S. I hope Wheelson was right about that rich thing because I could really go for some new shoes right about now.

*Ladies, I was only joking. Please don’t match your belt, shoes and purse. That is decidedly not cool.

Seattle Army Navy Surplus Store

Saturday afternoon I wandered around downtown window shopping. I have many regrets surrounding how I framed this photo but at the top of the list is accidently cropping out the male manequin to the bikini's left who was fashionably sporting a gas mask and a bazooka.

I made the mistake of wandering inside this store, only to quickly realize I was way over my head, surrounded by sketchy men and weapons of every shape, size and color. I figured no one inside would take too kindly to having a photo taken, so I kept my camera in my purse and my mouth shut mainly because I enjoy full use of both my arms and my legs and also because I'm a baby. When a sales clerk asked if I needed assistance with anything, I took that to mean "move it or lose it". Avoiding bodily injury by mere seconds*, I fled the store.

Needless to say, I didn't stick around to try on the bikini. It's just as well. Swimming, gun toting and me decidedly could never mix. Not because I think there's anything wrong with that, but more because I never was particularly good at the multi-tasking.

*I may be exaggerating slightly. I also may have just mis-spelled exaggerating.

Italiano Nationale Anthemio

Or why my dude is cooler than your dude.

Tonight I watched the Athens Olympics which included the medal ceremony for the mens marathon. I'm not even going to mention how much it turns my stomach to think about that poor guy that was in first place until some nutjob decided to push him. Yep, definetely not going to mention it. No way.

Anyway some Italian got the gold and during the medal ceremony while playing the Italian National Anthem, I turned to my dude who was singing along to the anthem and for a split second I thought, wow, he knows the words. Now that's cool! Then I realized he wasn't singing the real lyrics, just the names of different Italian dishes he knew...Spaghetti, Fettincine Alfredo...Antipasta!

Sorry, ladies. He's already taken.

P.S. Happy 30th Birthday Joelie!


Now about that iPod. You realize that I'll be wanting that back, right?

To postpone or delay needlessly

I took my procrastination to new heights today when, in a desperate attempt to avoid actually working at work, I pulled up amazon.com and read all the reviews I could find for a book called (and get this because, this my dears, is the kicker) Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done by Larry Bossidy & Ram Charan.

I’m not even going to mention the additional time that was wasted recounting this activity. I think it’s quite clear who’s next in line to win an award for the most innovative procrastination to date...or is certain to be fired...which ever comes first. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for that award (despite the fact that the firing undoubtedly has better odds).

Unemployment, who’s your girl?

Sidenote: I should have realized this morning I wasn't going to get any actual work done today and agreed to skip it and volunteer with Headstart for Happiness at the Democratic Fundraiser at Beneroya Hall tonight. Oh well. At least HFH is out there changing the world. HFH? You go on with your big bad self.

My dinner with Headstart for Happiness

Last night instead of going to the gym after work like I normally do (and running until I feel completely numb), I dropped by Headstart for Happiness' place and had a good old fashion girly heart to heart.

We ended up at Pies & Pints on 65th conversing amidst loud music and soft lighting; exchanging stories about movies, music and friends but almost always returning to the same topic - love.







I can’t say for sure that I really figured anything out but sometimes it’s just good to talk and know that the person who’s listening completely understands where you’re coming from and why listening to Elton John’s I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues rips out your heart and leaves you with only a smudgy face and teary eyes EVERY SINGLE TIME you hear it and so she gives you the advice to stop listening to that crap and hands you a really good Blur album instead.

If I could summarize how much her friendship means to me, I would, but I can't because I'm not that gifted of a writer and when I start to explain something it normally ends up all muddled and confused.

You’re just going to have trust me on this one. Everyone needs a friend like her.

Closed toed shoes in the summer?

What the hell?

That can only mean one thing. It rained AGAIN.



That's right folks. I finally got my black mary janes.

That doesn't mean my fantasy with buying this shoe is over. It's not. Far from it. In fact, I might just wander over to nordstrom.com and buy it. Maybe even today. Stranger things have been known to happen.

I had lunch with Jesus

No seriously. 2 days in a row.

Okay, so technically it wasn’t Jesus but lordy, lordy this guy sure looks likes Jesus. Long wavy hair? Check. Facial hair? Check. No clothing with visible logos? Check. Vegetarian (except for fish)? Check. Hasn't been to a mall in over 3 years? Check. I mean, seriously, this dude has got the Jesus factor down.

I’d post pictures but I didn’t take any because I didn’t want to explain to him why I was taking his photo. Besides who’d really go for someone random person they just met taking their photo to post on this random person’s blog. I may be a little odd, but I didn’t want to be that girl.

Anyway, yesterday when we were at Appleby’s* he ordered a big platter of vegetables, you know, just like you’d expect Jesus to do (if he ever went to Appleby’s). Today, we met at The Keg and, true to form (well at least the one I’ve already conjured up in my head), he ordered the closest thing to fish and loaves he could find on the menu….fish and chips. Lawd almighty, this Jesus dude is, in a word, awesome.

So, I realize at this point you must be asking yourself, “C’mon Sprizee. Is he really that Jesus like?” and here’s my response. Yes, take my word for it and stop asking stupid questions. That and also he’s totally mellow and passive (except when it comes to G.W. Bush). Now I know that Jesus didn’t live in a time with Appleby’s or The Keg or SUVs or the like, but I do know he was all about common sense…and realizing the G.W. Bush is an idiot that needs to go IS COMMON SENSE therefore from this day forward I will be referring to this guy strickly as Jesus (in my head).

*If I wasn’t so lazy or overwhelmed with work I’d photoshop Jesus into a picture of Appleby’s but I am so for now you’re just going to have to old school that visual and conjure it up in your head.