Yakkitty Yak, Don't Talk Back.

On the way out the door this morning I grabbed my gym bag, keys and some food which I threw in a bag. It wasn't really lunch per se but let's just call it lunch to simplify things. So lunch, keys and bag in hand, I made it out the door and down 5 flights to the garage and my car. Only something was missing. My purse.

So I threw my lunch, keys and bag in the car, locked it and headed over to the elevator so I could run back up to my apartment and grab the most important thing I just neglected to grab on my way out the door, which I might add, I also forgot last week, except last week I got all the way to work without it. Awesome. Except not.

So over at the elevator waiting to get back up to my apartment, who do I run into but the building manager who lives in the apartment next to mine and it probably the nicest and most friendliest person I know this side of the Mississippi. Translation, the only way to end a conversation with her is to stop interacting in the conversation in any way shape or form 3 minutes before you want it to end and then finally give up the idea that she'll stop talking and end up just walking away even when she continues to yammer on because she's a non-stop talker.

So there we are in the elevator and she's got two dogs on a leash and she's being her normal chatty self and then midway through a sentence she looks over at me with a funny look on her face and says, "Where are you going?". To which I reply, "Work." More confused quizical looks follow from her since I'm headed back up to my apartment, ie, decidedly the wrong direction if I'm headed to work. So I follow up with a, "I forgot my purse." To which she replies, "Are you pregnant?" To which I reply, "No."

And then I follow it up with a smile and a, "Go to hell", (in my head) as I step off the elevator and into my apartment as she continues to blather on about something.

Comments

[Chris]

Even a goofball (and a male) like myself know better than to ever utter that offensive 3 word phrase. I say you should give her a good kick in a place where it may hurt then take her dogs away as she's clearly not worthy of pet ownership.

[Kelwhy]

LOL! too funny! That's how I knew that I was pregnant the 2nd time, I was completely forgetful and VERY clumsy!

but no - not funny that she asked you that...sorry! :D

[Murphy]

oh thats horrible.

can you t-pee her. if not, would you be interested in paying me to do so?

[sprizee]

I should note that I don't really wish her any ill will nor was I that put off by her asking me that question. I actually really admire how she has the ability to talk to almost anyone and conversation seems to flow so easily for her. That is decidedly not a talent of mine.

Stick me in a room with 12 other people I've never met and I'll end up in the corner looking at my hands like they're the most fascinating things on the planet and act like I've never seen them before just to avoid ackward eye contact or aimless chit chat. You have no idea how many times I've used the so how 'bout this weather bs line before. Correct response: 3 times too many in the same conversation.

Building Manager? I heart you. You rock!

P.S. Still not pregnant. Thanks for asking.

[Sally]

OMG. I cannot believe she asked you that. You do not look pregnant AT ALL.

I was stuck in the elevator with her the other day...after stopping off at each floor for other people, I realized I was the only one not giving her a hug good-bye. And my arms were full of shopping bags, so I got out of that one.

[gutter slut]

somone once asked me if I was pregnant when I was not.....it hurts. but that is seriously extremely rude.

[JudiBootie]

Pregnant because you forgot your purse? That's a new one.

Must. Add. To. List.

[Howard Muhlberg]

"So I threw my lunch, keys and bag in the car, locked it and headed over to the elevator..."

Call me dense, but I thought this post was all about locking your keys in the car. I didn't even catch the pregnant remark that all the fuss is about until the second read-thru.

That said, I inclined to chalk it up to what kelwhy said. My wife was a total space cadet when she was pregnant. Too many system resources being drained by the baby.