Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications

Carefree highway, let me slip away on you.

Today I got a call I wasn't expecting from a stranger explaining my dad (not my stepdad) had passed away last week.  But they didn't know where to locate his next of kin, so it took a while to track me down.  I wasn't super close with my dad.  My parents divorced when I was 3 and I have no memories of them together.  But I did spend a significant amount of my childhood around him.   And the memories I do have are mostly good ones (except for that time he had a brain aneurysm). 

What do I know about my dad?  He was Marine but he retired long before I was born.  He was an alcoholic but that was before my parents got married and that he hadn't had a single drink in well over 35 years.  I know that he loved to listen to Gordon Lightfoot.  That he was really good at singing two songs to me as a small child, You are my sunshine and K-K-K-Katie.  That he had always wanted to write a book but never got around to it.  That he has an apartment full of possesions in Northern California and I'm his next of kin which makes me in charge.  I considered just letting all that stuff go, but I simply couldn't bear the thought of some stranger carelessly discarding what he took a lifetime to collect. 

So tomorrow moring I leave for California to say goodbye.  I'm driving and I look forward to the solitude the open road will allow me.  And I'm okay with his death, mostly.  There is, of course, the guilt.  Why didn't I reach out more?  How could I be so selfish?  Too many times I thought about writing him or picking up the phone, but I simply put it off. 

Then I remember, "Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward. Life is too short, time is too precious and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been."   And I know, logically, that this is true.  But sometimes aligning your heart with your head is much easier said, than done.

The last time I talked to him was probably a good 9 months ago and the last time I saw him was in 2002.  I wonder what those last few minutes were like for him.  Was he alone?  Did he know that people loved him?  I really wish I would have taken my own advice a little more seriously.  Because never for a single second did I ever doubt his love for me. 

If you have something important to say to someone, say it.  Stop waiting and say it now.

Rest and relaxation.

Yesterday I suffered through possibly the worst headache I've ever experienced along with some blurred vision and the awful sensation of a small animal taking up residence behind my left eye.  I left work a couple hours early.  I would have left work half a day early but I had taken the bus and when you take the bus you're sort of at the mercy of their schedule.  I got home around 5 and crawled into bed.

I was down for the count until I woke up at 7 with plans to head over to Misty's house to watch the Olympics, chat and break bread.  But everytime The Dude would say something to me I kept shushing him, and I finally realized there was no way I was going to be able to pull it together enough to go.  So begrudgingly, I picked up my iPhone and sent a couple texts apologizing for bowing out.  I would have just called them.  But the pain.  The searing white pain.

This morning, miracously, I woke up headache free.  I thought about going to work but I was still exhausted so I called in sick and took it easy.  On the upside, I caught a fascinating episode of Nova about Cryptography and a powerful documentary about Chile and Pinochet titled The Judge and the General.  Oh, how I adore PBS.  Getting to watch both of those programs almost made me glad I had to experience the headache from hell to allow myself a day of R&R.  Okay, not really.  But, still.  Good stuff.

New! Coldplay! Single! for Free!

There's a new Coldplay track called Death Will Never Conquer which is available as a free download.   Except, let's be honest.  Viva la Vida* was just okay.  It sounds a lot like all their previous stuff and the some of the lyrics are just downright awful.  So when I took this new track out for a spin earlier today, I couldn't help but picture that episode of Extras where Chris Martin does a guest appearance to promote Coldplay Greatest Hits.   But, it's free, and about one million times better than that free awful new Keane single.  So go download it and let me know what you think.  Or don't.  Whatever. I'm not the boss of you.

*I do, however, really enjoy certain songs on that album. Life in Technicolor! Viva la Vida! Strawberry Swing!  Love hate relationship with Coldplay still intact?  Check.

Oh Happy Day.

Oh Happy Day., originally uploaded by sprizee.

I picked up some fresh flowers yesterday and I've been reading Valley of the Dolls for this month's book club. Oh, and what else? What else?

Oh yeah, I bought a friend's v.1 iPhone last week, had another friend unlock it and since Saturday I've been rocking it with my T-Mobile account. Since I'm not using AT&T adding a data plan was only an extra $6/month. Uh huh! 

Honestly, the only thing stopping me before was the understanding that I'd have to kick T-Mobile to the curb and I love their service (and the fact that they told the NSA to come back with a warrant) far too much to leave them.  Ah, but the iPhone + T-Mobile.  Heaven!

I'm holding my breath for Egan to finally cave and get one. He likes to follow me around.  Blogger, Typepad, Flickr.  I can't blame him though.  I'm pretty awesome.  Oh, modest too.  Of course, I stole all those ideas from other people and Egan already has an iTouch.  What can I say?  Egan is a pretty cool guy.

This month being July I'm really into...

...The Slog's I, Anonymous, greek style yogurt, Wall-E at the Cinerama, Batman at the Cinerama, Txori, the 20th Anniversary SubPop Comedy Show (featuring David! Cross! who totally choked),  Molly Moon's Ice Cream in Wallingford, ribbons and paper, avoiding getting my hair cut, being indecisive and forgetting to post July's into nonsense until August.  Uh huh.

Those warm summer days.

Izze soda, fresh baked brownies and a bag of crunchy snap peas to share.  I kick off my closed toed flats and replace them with a pair of worn out flip flops.  Sunscreen, sunglasses and my camera.  It's warm but cloudy.  The sun is hiding behind a haze.  We step on the boat and we're off.  Down a long canal where multi-million dollar homes surround us. Past the Seahawk's Training Center.  Past the Mercer Island Beach Club.  Past Stewart Park.  Under 90 and then back around.

At one point we stop the engine and just float along.  She sits on the edge dipping her toes into the water.  Kicking her legs back and forth exclaiming it's too cold while wiggling around in mock agony.  Then suddenly she stands up and jumps full force into the cool water. Over and over and over again with the contagious enthusiasm of youth.  

Eventually it's time to turn around and make our way back to the dock.  As I sit in the aft of the boat, with a warm breeze on my face, feeling the cool spray of the lake splash my cheeks, I dip my hand over the side and plunge into the cool water.  It feels like liquid happiness.

New! Keane! Single! for Free!

Keane is offering the first single of their upcoming album, Perfect Symmetry, due mid-October, as a free download. (Okay, after giving it a spin I'm pretty sure Keane is now dead to me.  It just feels so discothequey.  And not in a funny, irreverent or ironic sort of a way.  Awful, just awful.  I feel dirty.)  OH MY GOD. I HATE IT. 

What happened?  We use to be like this. [crosses fingers]