Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications

I'm not going to lie to you. I love being right.

Remember a few weeks back when I couldn't stand to be around a certain someone at the office. Yeah, um, about that...he finally got fired today. He was suppose to be fired on Friday (also my birthday) but he called in sick that day. I was torn about this. Seeing him canned on my birthday would have been a pretty awesome present but not having to see him at all on my birthday was pretty great too. 

I know this may seem mean and negative, but let's face it, I'm glass half full until some doucher tries to talk me into drinking half a glass of some murky, questionable water filled with sand, grit and sediment. At that point, the point at which some one pushes me over the edge, IT IS ON. So I'm happy to have one less ridiculous obstacle in my way to being the happy, upbeat person I was meant to be. I mean, seriously, get out of my way. I'm trying to spread joy. MOVE IT. 

Anyways, I'm taking the rest of the week off. Headed to The Nines for a mini vacation with my mama in Portland. If you have any suggestions about places to check out, let me know. I'm excited!

Wincing the days away.

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others, and that feels pretty solid. - Maria Bamford

Do yourself a favor. Go buy Maria Bamford's How To Win. It is hilarious. I downloaded it and brought it with me to New Orleans and it made time fly by. Literally. (Actually the plane made time fly by literally.) That's just a figure of speech. Gosh!

Actually now that I think about it the first place I saw Maria was in The Comedians of Comedy documentary. Maybe go rent that too while you're at it. Sure Patton Oswalt can be a trainwreck of a radio guest and has poor taste in sitcoms but he's also a great standup comic. I attended a comedy show once where David Cross was dying a slow painful death right there on stage and the only thing that saved it was Patton taking the grenade out of Cross' hands, telling a joke and then handing it back. Actually Cross never came back from that. It was awful.

Note to self: Avoid future David Cross shows at all costs.

P.S. The Shins are playing the Showbox in Seattle next month. THE SHOWBOX! That's tiny crazy for a band as popular as The Shins. Tickets go on sale this Friday. Just say'n.

Taken on Monday outside that antique store I couldn't locate come Friday.

Last week I was in New Orleans on business. I want to go back.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Here's the problem. If I think you're a tool, I can not be friends with you. Did I say friends? I meant be civil. I'll probably even avoid making eye contact. Which is probably for the best since eye contact with someone I don't respect would involve a glare that can only be characterized as soul charring. I can't put on a fake smile and make small talk. And if you try to engage me in some false chit chat, I will not willingly participate. You know, just, FYI.