Last Friday around 4 o'clock, after most of my coworkers had already taken off for the weekend I schemed with 2 remaining coworkers to play a practical joke on another coworker, Tony. Tony had been going on and on for days about how his new chair was so great. I was sort of rushed for time since I had an appointment in SoDo at 5 so I had to quickly type up the ransom note. I stuck it to some old crappy chair and made the swap. The new chair was hidden away by one of my accomplices.
Leave a box of ice cream sandwiches in the south side kitchen fridge marked Bob's. Once the ice cream sandwiches are in place your chair will be returned within 24 hours. Don't contact the police or the chair gets it.
So Monday Tony isn't in the office. But Tuesday he gets in and makes a big stink about how his chair is missing and he wants it back. So then Tuesday night my accomplice and I take a picture of the chair tumbling down the stairwell and leave another ransom note in his office.
WE TOLD YOU NOT TO NOTIFY ANYONE. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!! ICE CREAM SANDWICHES BY Friday or the chair gets it! -Bob
[pictures of the chair being tortured and tumbling down the stairs]
By Wednesday he has finally whined enough that the receptionist decides to join him in his quest for the kidnapped chair. Unfortunately for me, the secure undisclosed location my accomplice chose to moved it to, turned out to be not quite so secure or undisclosed for the receptionist found it after only 20 minutes of looking.
Tony says he doesn't know who did it and he doesn't care but then he keeps going around asking everyone else if they did it. Tony sends out an email before he leaves for the evening saying he found the joke very funny but that he'll be out of the office for the next two days and P.S. Don't move my chair.
Wednesday evening I end up working late. Coincidentally, Wednesday evening the chair has it's right arm amputated. Also coincidentally, 20 copies of a new ransom note appear on his desk.
WE TOLD YOU NOT TO NOTIFY ANYONE. Now you owe me one box of ice cream sandwiches, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and a box of fudgescicles in the south side fridge. You know the drill. Don’t be stupid. Send out another email and you may never see your right arm rest again. Ice cream by the end of the week and this time I’m sure you’ll never find what you are looking for so don’t even try. Any funny business and we take it out on the arm! -Bob
So Tony won't be in until next Monday. Personally, I think he should just cave and go get the ice cream. But he's stubborn so I doubt he'll cow tow to my terrorist like tactics. I might have to start FedExing him pieces of his precious chair arm.
You should see the kinds of chaos this little stunt has caused. People all over the office are meeting up at the watercooler, coming up with theories about who did it and why. The finger pointing is rampant. One of my accomplices even started a rumor that it was the janitor, and it actually stuck. It's like a science experience gone horribly wrong, and I say science experiment because it has morphed into The Exercise: Testing The Limits of Your Coworker's Paranoia.
One of the accomplices asked me if I was going to cave. Never. They'll have to pry the kidnapped chair arm from my cold dead hands. And that's only if they can find it.
