Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications

Reason #243 people suck.

As anyone who has ever posted anything on Craigslist knows, this is so painfully true.  When I listed my car with a detailed explanation as to what was wrong with it and hence why the price was so low, I still got close to 20 calls in a 24 hour period asking me "uh, what's wrong with it and why is the price so low".  I didn't call those people back.

Reason #243 I hope my mom is not reading this.

Yesterday on the way to work I took my usual route which includes one of the few roads in Seattle that keeps a SNOW CLOSURE sign handy on the sidewalk at all times, no matter the season.  Normally this wouldn't matter but yesterday the low was 18 and the high was 32.  Had I been thinking I would have chosen another road.  There's ice on everywhere and I choose to take the steepest street.  Smart!  All I can say is this is how I function in the morning before breakfast, on auto-pilot. 

Can you see where this is going?  Don't get ahead of me.  I made it up the hill fine.  Then I went over the other side, and along with the car in front and the car behind me, I lost complete control on the ice covered hilly street.  Everything started moving in slow motion.  Slow sliding motion.  I'm not sure at exactly which point what I was doing changed from driving to sledding but I ended up doing a 180 90 degree turn, landing perpendicular to the direction I was previously facing.  With no dents.  With no other cars near me or me near them.

I sat there in shock for a good minute before I realized I couldn't stay like that all day.  Although that's exactly what I wanted to do.  Actually, what I wanted to do was get out, ditch the car, run home and never go back.  But it knew I better suck it up and attempt to right the car.  So I did that , successfully to my surprise, and then I inched the rest of the way down the slope without incident. 

Thank you guardian angel.  But next time maybe you should just have someone plow into me right before I'm about to ascend the Mountain of Moron? 

And in other news, Merry Christmas from The Sea Navy!

Public Service Announcement #243

I can not say this strongly enough.  Tomatoes do not go in the fridge.

Reason #243 I should quit my day job.

The Dude:  What did the crossword say to the chicken?

Sprizee:  Um, what?

The Dude:  I dunno.  I was just making that up.

Sprizee:  Wait, I know there's a joke in there somewhere.  [long pause] I've got it!  Ask me again.

The Dude:  What did the crossword say to the chicken?

Sprizee:  One across?

Reason #243 The Dude's a keeper.

Wheelson and The Wife threw an invitation our way.

Ira Glass at the WWU Performing Arts Center
Sat, May 20

The Dude's response?  Hell ya I'll buy glass to support the IRA!

I swear, that man needs a percussion section walking behind him at all times.  Or at least one random guy, at the ready, holding a snare and a cymbal.

On second thought, his birthday is coming up.  Maybe I'll just get him a boom box and a laugh track.

Reason #243 NPR rocks my world on a daily basis.

I can summarize why I love NPR in one word.  Chessboxing

Bad Idea #243

Don't ask me if you or guy (who I just told you looks like Kyle MacLachlan) is more attractive.  I make it a policy not to lie to my friends, which is why I never got around to responding.  What I meant to say was, "Hey, wanna see my autographed poster of Agent Dale Cooper?"

Reason #243 W Sucks Dick Cheney Too

Way to be subtle Mr. President.  I hate to burst your bubble but your latest photo op is nothing more than the clever equivalent of that "mission accomplished" stunt you pulled a few years back.  I think we both remember how well those "mission nothing accomplished" bumper stickers sold.  Like hotcakes.  No exit strategy?  A rising death count?  Who cares?  W called Victory.  We win!  Still not buying it?  Drink the coolaid Kool-aid™!

Reason #243 why I love Fark.

Kerry suspects election 2004 was stolen

FYI: Kerry lost his "war hero" status when he bacame a war protesting hippy. Hippy trumps war hero.  Becasue calling Kerry a war hero would be like calling Hitler an Aspiring Artist. In Hitler's case, Genocidal Maniac trumps Art Student.

Noteworthy Cause #243

Heads up seven Up folks.

Clear your calendar on April 28 for LifeLong AIDS Alliance's annual fundraiser, Dining Out For Life in Seattle.   The low down: Go to any participating restaurant on Thursday, April 28th, and a portion of your bill will benefit the programs of Lifelong AIDS Alliance and its food program, Chicken Soup Brigade!

Finally a cause which doesn't slap another plastic bracelet on your wrist.  Seriously.  The Lance bracelet which finally allowed men to wear jewlery in public without any shame was a great gimmick and a worthy cause but this "everyone and their brother doing it" thing is getting a bit tiresome.  Enough with the plastic swag already.